July 5: daily whine RE June 1: a day like no other

The first Saturday of the month is always Moonburn, the M/M-only spanking party at Threshold, and, coincidentally, a themed party at the Bordello.

AND I was lucky enough to already have a playdate set up with a FemDomme for the Bordello party.

So...

Moonburn has been 'hit or miss' for me.  It seems to be kind of cliquish, where guys tend to play with guys they already know,  and breaking into cliques is not one of my people-skills.

But, I have made friends with one guy in particular, and I knew, if he was there, I'd get some.

Stew was there, and in short order, we were in the first room on the right, and I was naked, leaning against the spider gate,  getting my butt tended to.

I did tell him, I have a date later tonight, that she said she wouldn't mind seeing fresh bruises on my bottom, but my personal preference would be to have a relatively fresh bottom for her to do her magic.

He did quite well, giving me a reddish color, sans bruising.

And a bit later, I returned the favor, only, um, somewhat harder.

After the party was over, he and I went to my house, and resumed, in my playroom.

I showed him MY collection of toys, compared to what he brought in his bag of tricks... and in due time, I set up the video camera, he put my ankles and wrists in a spreader bar,  and he smacked my bottom with everything in the room.  When he was using my plastic paddle with raised studs on it, it drew blood, and he called a halt. 

After some clean up,  I put HIM in the spreader bar, and gave him much worse than he gave me, including, joyfully,  using my new cane.

We agreed, it was a good time,  and he made his way out, and headed home.

  I spent what time I had left in the shower with a body shave,  dressed, and made my way to the Bordello.

  The Bordello has four primary play areas:  the large main room, to the left of the entrance, or to the right, one room an eighth of the size of the main room with two play stations, and adjacent to that one, a smaller room, with a desk, spanking bench, and examining table, and then there's the basement, with a paddy gate, spanking bench, and a canopy bed. 

I arrived late, but not late by LA standards, and my date had not arrived yet.

I checked out the current activity, and was about to go outside to the firepit/smoking area, when I saw my date at the check in desk.

We talked a few minutes, then she looked around, "Okay, where...?" and we went into the larger of the two small rooms.  She looked at the spanking bench, looked at me, and said, "So, get naked."

I did, but not quite.  I was wearing jock-briefs, so my bottom was well exposed, and she left those on my, along with my no-show socks.

I mounted the bench, and settled in.

She opened her bag of tricks,  and produced a bit of ginger root, already carved into shape, and let me smell it, then slipped it into my anus.

.... Ohhh yeah.

Then she went to work, or play, smacking my bottom with countless paddles of varying shapes and sizes, and I don't know what else, because she wasn't showing them to me.

  One paddle, in particular, was so thick and heavy, that...  well, her right hand index finger has been broken twice, she said, and she BROKE IT AGAIN using that paddle on my butt.

   She continued awhile, working through her pain, then called a halt.

   I got up, thanking her for her time, and dressed, and we went about, checking out the other party action for awhile.

  We went outside and talked.  She does not like cigarette smoking, but so far, has been tolerant of me, smoking.

   And, she asked, "So, ready to go again?"

  Oh, hell, yes.

   We went into the smallest room, and she suggested, checking out what I brought.

   Well, I brought the spreader bar, and got nearly naked, and got up on the examining table, and she set the cuffs around my wrists and ankles. 

   I had brought a bath brush, a short cane, really meant for OTK, and a braided cat o nine tails, with the ends starting to unravel.

   And she used them all, multiple times, switching back and forth.

   With the bathbrush, she hit the same spot on one of my cheeks, six or seven times, then move to hit the other one, hitting the same spot repetitively, then back to the first spot.   Oooooch...

  But it was the cat, with the frayed ends, that started to draw blood from my cheeks,  and as it started to get messy, she called a halt.

  I daresay, the alcohol sprayed on my cheeks stung more than all the action that preceded it.

   We cleaned up, I dressed, we went outside and talked awhile.

   The party was winding down.

   She was preparing to leave with her significant other,  heading out to a local restaurant for ice cream, as was her custom after parties here,  and invited me to join them.

  Sure!

   So we went; they had ice cream, I had my daily meal, we talked.

  And I got home, at like 4 in the morning.

   As I write this, it's just short of 48 hours of the last smack of whatever on my cheeks, and ... it is still sore, with circular pink spots where she was constantly hitting with the bath brush.

   Ah, the sweet pleasure of pain1

   

What a great day!

July 3 Slave's Diary C = 13

Home, about 0630.
Fed my furbabies, took Cookie out for a walk.
Called Her, or She called me, while She was picking up a prescription.
Continued talking,  right up to when the battery on Her phone died.
I went about fixing my breakfast, and was upstairs, sorting 4 days worth of newspapers when She called back.
I mildly chastized Her for not having a car charger.
She said, She has one, but did not have it plugged in, and couldn't reach it while She was driving.
Then, we were discussing, and I just don't remember what,  but I was saying something, and She interrupted, and I tried to say it again, and She interrupted, and I said, in my louder attention-getting voice, "Let me finish!" and I finished.
Oops.
She said, quietly, " I am the Dominant. You will not raise your voice to me.  NO masturbation, today or tomorrow.  Now, I'm going to hang up.  If you want or need to call me back in 30 minutes or so, you may."
"I apologize, Mistress, I will not do it again...and I won't be calling back, I'm way too tired, and going to sleep quite soon."
"Very well."

She sent me an email:  "I love you.  I'm not angry anymore. But the punishment stands."
I read it, but did not reply.   I doubt if She expected a reply,  after I told Her I was going to sleep.

The punishment ... did not bother me.   I was way too tired to consider masturbating today, and I could get through tomorrow, too, without it.
The principle did bother me, due to the circumstances.

I went to sleep, with the whole thing nagging at me.
I woke up, 2 ish, to go pee, and saw a text from Her, asking me to call Her, 'good news'.
I almost didn't, but I did.  She said a family member was leaving a day early than planned, giving Her much more free time than She had previously expected.
I went back to sleep
Up at 17:00,  meditating, then dog walking,  and talking to Her on the phone.
I sent Her a message, requesting permission to express my feelings about the ..situation.
She permitted it, and I sent an email, expressing my concerns about how I felt, how tired I was, the space I was in, the clarity of cell to cell conversations..
She replied, quite thoughtfully, in a nicely worded reply, that She would give me a pass, THIS TIME, and was rescinding the punishment.

Moving on...to while I was at work:
She let me know that I could change my status from "submissive" to "slave"
And that I was 'dating' Her, and vice versa.

Wow.
Just Wow.
My life is taking a rather dramatic shift from sometime boring, sometimes anxious, sometimes depressed,
 to ... just Wow, What's Going to Happen Next. 

July 2 Slave's diary (C = 15)

Morning of the 2nd ...off work 06:00,  and went home.
Walked the dog, fed the animals,  took a shower,  made a few adjustments around the townhouse,
and called Her.
She was well on the way to me.   We discussed options for getting through morning traffic, and I gave Her my recommendation, and I would stay on the phone with Her, and guide Her in to my place, and I'd meet Her outside.
She arrived a tad faster than I anticipated, and passed my driveway before I could scamper outside.
I was still on the phone with Her, and told Her to turn around and come back.
She did, and pulled into my carport, and told me to get some shoes one, She wanted to go get something to eat.
She came inside with me, as I did, then we went back to Her car, and I navigated us to a local diner.
As the protocol She had outlined required, I first inquired if I may pick up the check for the meal,  then I inquired what She would be having, so I could order for both of us.
In time, we were eating, and She related to me, conversations She had been having the previous day,  that had to do with the revelations the two of us had made to each other, Sunday night, Monday morning.
Well, She told me without telling me anything, as She spoke in the most general of terms.
It has not yet been my wont to inquire deeper into such conversations She has with me, having learning that She will divulge information when She is ready to divulge it, and there simply was no point in me asking.
And we sat there a bit longer than we needed to.  Come to find out, She was waiting for me to ask, "Ready to go?" while I was doing exactly the same thing.
We returned to my place, and went up to my play room.
She stripped down to Her panties, and lay Herself down on the bed, on Her right side.
Leaving me standing there, fully dressed and mystified.
I am accustomed to being told to undress or not, to do this, or do that,  so this was beyond my ken.
I stripped, naked, and lay myself down next to her,  my front to Her back.

I am now going to leave out most details of what happened thereafter.

I will say, that it took some time for me to figure out, even as She said so, that this was not intended to be our ....what had been up to this point... customary D/s scene.

I kinda wish She had given me a clue from the beginning, about that.
Well, She did, but I didn't pick up on it.
As She undressed, She said, something like, "No collar for this."
I kinda assumed that She had forgot to bring the collar, as She had forgotten to do, Her last visit to my place.
But what She meant was, "This is not a scene for a collar to be used."
Ah well.
Eventually, things got sorted out.
Other than, She wanted ME to take charge of the scene.
Not one of my strong suits, that.

We had fun, and pleasure, and stuff like that, there. 

THAT I struggled with  Performance Anxiety Impotence does not bother me now, as I write this, as much as it did then. And when I say 'struggled', I'll add, struggled and lost the battle with...
And not just Performance Anxiety....
I knew, because She told me, from day one, or day zero, or before, that she is polyamorous, and I accepted it from the beginning.
I knew, know, that it doesn't work for me, I've always been monogamous.
So, when it came down to it, time to ... rise to the occasion,  images and sounds and words flooded my head, of Her being with ... others in her life.
Which put an end to THAT aspect of the scene, but we had a lot of other fun and pleasure.

Some D/s came into play, as She took down my red studded plastic paddle of the wall, with the intention of creating a band of waffle marks to encircle each of my thighs.
But one stroke of the paddle landed square on my scrotum, which sent me into contortions of pain,  and leaving Her a bit confused, as She did not realize what happened.
Until She asked, "What's wrong?"  and I said through gritted teeth, "YOU HIT MY NUTS..."
And She spent some minutes, alternating between apologies and laughter.

Did I mention She likes to bite? Did I mention, I like to be bitten:?
There was a lot of THAT,  and the picture provided shows the effect of numerous bites on the same place on my chest, as She continues in attempts to mark me.

We alternated between play and napping,  and all good things tend to come to an end (bad things do too for that matter, but this was a good thing)  and somebody's alarm went off, indicating it was time for Her to get up, get moving, get to other places.

And She did, and around 3 pm, I went with Her down to the carport, and sadly watched Her drive away.

I went upstairs to gather sheets and towels that needed washing, and had an armload when She called.
My phone is always with me, so I was able to answer it,  but I was still trying to walk with an armload, and talk on the phone, when She said, 'The freeway is jammed!"
"What do you want me to do about it?" I mighta been a tad curt.
"Never mind," She said quietly, "I'll talk to you later."
I got the sheets to the washing machine, and was back upstairs, sitting on my bed,  when She sent me a text:  "Ouch."
I may be slow, but I'm also dense.  But I figured it out, and called Her, and apologized profusely.
We were 'good' by the time She was exiting the freeway,  and I had enough time to take a shower, and get a 2.5 hour nap before going to class, then work.

I got up at 18:30,  dressed and was about to head downstairs to my car, when I realized I needed to print an assignment I had written for class.
Another adventure.... trying to get my printer to cooperate when I'm in a hurry.
So, I just slowed down, sent a text to the class teacher "On my way"  and eventually, the printer did what it was supposed to, and I went on, out the door, arriving at class at 19:15.
I walked in, to see the teacher, who is also Community Minister at my church, sitting alone.
She smiled,  "So, Billy sent me a text at 5 pm, saying he had a job, and couldn't make it, but I didn't see it until a little while ago. and Mary called at 6:30, just saying that she couldn't make it.  You said that you were on the way in, so I didn't call you back."
So....
We talked about dates we could reschedule the class for, and talked a long time about other things, then I went out to my car,  and sent a text to Mistress, saying, "I'm available to talk."
She called me, and I sat in my car, talking to Her for over an hour.
We concluded, everything is good between us, REALLY REALLY GOOD.

And I put it in gear, and drove on into work.

She sent me a text around 23:30  "Sooo sleepy" and I wrote back, "Alone, not busy, call me to say goodnight, if you like."
She did.  I said goodnight to Her.

It was a stressful day,  full of unknowns,  and anxieties and some disappointment.
As a result,
                CIGARETTE COUNT  :    15 

 

July 1, slave's diary (C = 9 )

.... Then, we moved into the den, and sat on the couch, talking,  with Her leaning against me, my left arm over her shoulders,  which frequently annoyed Her sunburned back.
And ...we talked.
And revelations were, well, revealed.
How much She enjoyed, was aroused by the time we had spent sleeping together,  just sleeping, my front to her back.
And I told her how much that aroused me, that I really wanted to.... be able to ...  make love to her ...in a real man to woman way.
Considering that I've spent a dozen years NOT thinking about sex in that way...  this was quite an admission for me.
...along with, how much I care about Her, care for Her,  how much I just ... love Her.
What She has done to me...   the feelings that have emerged in our month together...  has been very nearly overwhelming...   and She admitted, she felt very nearly the same way.... in her feelings.

Whether or not 'sex' was going to happen between us?  That is a very strong line She tries to keep between Herself and Her subs.

Does it matter, to me?  Yes, I have the desire.  But still... just to have the time with Her... that's all I want, all I need, for now.

Yet, during the course of this late night, early morning conversation,  if someone did not do something to stop it, we might end up naked, rolling on the couch.
Some rationality came to us at the same time, and at 04:30 I got up to leave.
 
Made it home, with a song in my heart, at 05:30. I walked the dog, fed the cats, dealt with other things for the morning.   I knew I'd be starting on my new overnight/graveyard schedule tonight, so figured this would be a good time to adjust, by staying up til 9 or so, then sleeping til 17:00.

Early, She had given me a free hour of masturbation and cumming, in addition to the allotment I already had for the week, and I decided to use it, starting around 08:15, which is within a minute of when She called.
And we talked and we talked.... and as it turned it, She was doing to Herself on her end, what I was doing to myself.
I could hear Her gasps, and I could tell that She had succeeded where I had as yet failed.
She gave me permission, to continue past the original hour She had given... and it actually took until 10:00 for me to ...finish.
Then, I had a quick snack, took my morning pills, and went to sleep.
I was awake at 17:00,  meditated, walked the dog,  and was on the phone with her from  17:30 til 18:45 when I had to get into the shower.
Then dressed, in car, and at work at 19:30
By 21:00, we were chatting via text,  then online.... up to 02:00, when she decided maybe she could get to sleep.

9 cigarettes.

June 30, Slave's Diary (C = 8)

I am writing this quite some time after the fact  ..some 27 hours.... so details are hazy, but let's see what I remember:

I worked Saturday night...   went home, etc, got to sleep 02:50 and was up at 8, getting ready for sevice.
I attended service, then an after service seminar, from 12 to 14:30.
I went across the street for coffee, and to acquire another e-cigarette,  and to call my parents, to say hello and goodby, as they were leaving early the next morning for a long car journey, then I made my way, on the 45 mile drive to Her house.

I arrived, as She was in the midst of preparations for Sunday dinner.
I watched, and after my continuous bugging Her, She allowed me to assist by chopping and dicing onions.

Afterwards, She shooed me off to the garage, to see if I could apply my technological training to putting together some items that had fallen apart, which I managed to some degree of success.

Then I spent some time, sitting in the outside porch, chatting with another household member.

Dinner was served, and five of us sat around the table.
It was as quiet dinner, until She said, "Does anybody know the Madison?"
The RHPS reference was enough to get me laughing.

After dinner, She assigned others to clean up duties.

Then, She took me out into the garage, bringing along a plastic bath brush, acquired at a 99c store.

She sat on a long bench, and bade me lay down over her lap, and pulled down my pants, and began smacking my upper buttocks with the brush, until some part of it broke off.  Then She had me stand up,  and bend over, and smacked my buttocks some more, until another piece broke off.
She seemed satisfied and pictures of the results can be found elsewhere on this blog.
She had me wait, while she went to see if another member of the household would be interested in seeing the results, and in due time, she came back with that member, who was interested.
So I displayed, and while I did so, She knelt, and bit me, hard, on each cheek, and I flashed a huge smile of intense pleasure, while this other person looked on, grinning.

Then we went into the patio, and sat down ..and talked... and talked ...and talked...    \
Past midnight....  so, continued, next day....

One new rule that came out of these discussions ....
She wants to help me reduce, ultimately quit smoking.
I've been keeping a daily track for years, on how many a day I smoke
She asked for my previous weeks' numbers...which worked out to just over 18 a day.
She said, for the coming week, limit myself to 15.

So, at the end of each days blogs, I will note the number for that day

Cigarettes = 8