Home, about 0630.
Fed my furbabies, took Cookie out for a walk.
Called Her, or She called me, while She was picking up a prescription.
Continued talking, right up to when the battery on Her phone died.
I went about fixing my breakfast, and was upstairs, sorting 4 days worth of newspapers when She called back.
I mildly chastized Her for not having a car charger.
She said, She has one, but did not have it plugged in, and couldn't reach it while She was driving.
Then, we were discussing, and I just don't remember what, but I was saying something, and She interrupted, and I tried to say it again, and She interrupted, and I said, in my louder attention-getting voice, "Let me finish!" and I finished.
Oops.
She said, quietly, " I am the Dominant. You will not raise your voice to me. NO masturbation, today or tomorrow. Now, I'm going to hang up. If you want or need to call me back in 30 minutes or so, you may."
"I apologize, Mistress, I will not do it again...and I won't be calling back, I'm way too tired, and going to sleep quite soon."
"Very well."
She sent me an email: "I love you. I'm not angry anymore. But the punishment stands."
I read it, but did not reply. I doubt if She expected a reply, after I told Her I was going to sleep.
The punishment ... did not bother me. I was way too tired to consider masturbating today, and I could get through tomorrow, too, without it.
The principle did bother me, due to the circumstances.
I went to sleep, with the whole thing nagging at me.
I woke up, 2 ish, to go pee, and saw a text from Her, asking me to call Her, 'good news'.
I almost didn't, but I did. She said a family member was leaving a day early than planned, giving Her much more free time than She had previously expected.
I went back to sleep
Up at 17:00, meditating, then dog walking, and talking to Her on the phone.
I sent Her a message, requesting permission to express my feelings about the ..situation.
She permitted it, and I sent an email, expressing my concerns about how I felt, how tired I was, the space I was in, the clarity of cell to cell conversations..
She replied, quite thoughtfully, in a nicely worded reply, that She would give me a pass, THIS TIME, and was rescinding the punishment.
Moving on...to while I was at work:
She let me know that I could change my status from "submissive" to "slave"
And that I was 'dating' Her, and vice versa.
Wow.
Just Wow.
My life is taking a rather dramatic shift from sometime boring, sometimes anxious, sometimes depressed,
to ... just Wow, What's Going to Happen Next.
Showing posts with label Slave's Diary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Slave's Diary. Show all posts
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
July 2 Slave's diary (C = 15)
Morning of the 2nd ...off work 06:00, and went home.
Walked the dog, fed the animals, took a shower, made a few adjustments around the townhouse,
and called Her.
She was well on the way to me. We discussed options for getting through morning traffic, and I gave Her my recommendation, and I would stay on the phone with Her, and guide Her in to my place, and I'd meet Her outside.
She arrived a tad faster than I anticipated, and passed my driveway before I could scamper outside.
I was still on the phone with Her, and told Her to turn around and come back.
She did, and pulled into my carport, and told me to get some shoes one, She wanted to go get something to eat.
She came inside with me, as I did, then we went back to Her car, and I navigated us to a local diner.
As the protocol She had outlined required, I first inquired if I may pick up the check for the meal, then I inquired what She would be having, so I could order for both of us.
In time, we were eating, and She related to me, conversations She had been having the previous day, that had to do with the revelations the two of us had made to each other, Sunday night, Monday morning.
Well, She told me without telling me anything, as She spoke in the most general of terms.
It has not yet been my wont to inquire deeper into such conversations She has with me, having learning that She will divulge information when She is ready to divulge it, and there simply was no point in me asking.
And we sat there a bit longer than we needed to. Come to find out, She was waiting for me to ask, "Ready to go?" while I was doing exactly the same thing.
We returned to my place, and went up to my play room.
She stripped down to Her panties, and lay Herself down on the bed, on Her right side.
Leaving me standing there, fully dressed and mystified.
I am accustomed to being told to undress or not, to do this, or do that, so this was beyond my ken.
I stripped, naked, and lay myself down next to her, my front to Her back.
I am now going to leave out most details of what happened thereafter.
I will say, that it took some time for me to figure out, even as She said so, that this was not intended to be our ....what had been up to this point... customary D/s scene.
I kinda wish She had given me a clue from the beginning, about that.
Well, She did, but I didn't pick up on it.
As She undressed, She said, something like, "No collar for this."
I kinda assumed that She had forgot to bring the collar, as She had forgotten to do, Her last visit to my place.
But what She meant was, "This is not a scene for a collar to be used."
Ah well.
Eventually, things got sorted out.
Other than, She wanted ME to take charge of the scene.
Not one of my strong suits, that.
We had fun, and pleasure, and stuff like that, there.
THAT I struggled with Performance Anxiety Impotence does not bother me now, as I write this, as much as it did then. And when I say 'struggled', I'll add, struggled and lost the battle with...
And not just Performance Anxiety....
I knew, because She told me, from day one, or day zero, or before, that she is polyamorous, and I accepted it from the beginning.
I knew, know, that it doesn't work for me, I've always been monogamous.
So, when it came down to it, time to ... rise to the occasion, images and sounds and words flooded my head, of Her being with ... others in her life.
Which put an end to THAT aspect of the scene, but we had a lot of other fun and pleasure.
Some D/s came into play, as She took down my red studded plastic paddle of the wall, with the intention of creating a band of waffle marks to encircle each of my thighs.
But one stroke of the paddle landed square on my scrotum, which sent me into contortions of pain, and leaving Her a bit confused, as She did not realize what happened.
Until She asked, "What's wrong?" and I said through gritted teeth, "YOU HIT MY NUTS..."
And She spent some minutes, alternating between apologies and laughter.
Did I mention She likes to bite? Did I mention, I like to be bitten:?
There was a lot of THAT, and the picture provided shows the effect of numerous bites on the same place on my chest, as She continues in attempts to mark me.
We alternated between play and napping, and all good things tend to come to an end (bad things do too for that matter, but this was a good thing) and somebody's alarm went off, indicating it was time for Her to get up, get moving, get to other places.
And She did, and around 3 pm, I went with Her down to the carport, and sadly watched Her drive away.
I went upstairs to gather sheets and towels that needed washing, and had an armload when She called.
My phone is always with me, so I was able to answer it, but I was still trying to walk with an armload, and talk on the phone, when She said, 'The freeway is jammed!"
"What do you want me to do about it?" I mighta been a tad curt.
"Never mind," She said quietly, "I'll talk to you later."
I got the sheets to the washing machine, and was back upstairs, sitting on my bed, when She sent me a text: "Ouch."
I may be slow, but I'm also dense. But I figured it out, and called Her, and apologized profusely.
We were 'good' by the time She was exiting the freeway, and I had enough time to take a shower, and get a 2.5 hour nap before going to class, then work.
I got up at 18:30, dressed and was about to head downstairs to my car, when I realized I needed to print an assignment I had written for class.
Another adventure.... trying to get my printer to cooperate when I'm in a hurry.
So, I just slowed down, sent a text to the class teacher "On my way" and eventually, the printer did what it was supposed to, and I went on, out the door, arriving at class at 19:15.
I walked in, to see the teacher, who is also Community Minister at my church, sitting alone.
She smiled, "So, Billy sent me a text at 5 pm, saying he had a job, and couldn't make it, but I didn't see it until a little while ago. and Mary called at 6:30, just saying that she couldn't make it. You said that you were on the way in, so I didn't call you back."
So....
We talked about dates we could reschedule the class for, and talked a long time about other things, then I went out to my car, and sent a text to Mistress, saying, "I'm available to talk."
She called me, and I sat in my car, talking to Her for over an hour.
We concluded, everything is good between us, REALLY REALLY GOOD.
And I put it in gear, and drove on into work.
She sent me a text around 23:30 "Sooo sleepy" and I wrote back, "Alone, not busy, call me to say goodnight, if you like."
She did. I said goodnight to Her.
It was a stressful day, full of unknowns, and anxieties and some disappointment.
As a result,
CIGARETTE COUNT : 15
Walked the dog, fed the animals, took a shower, made a few adjustments around the townhouse,
and called Her.
She was well on the way to me. We discussed options for getting through morning traffic, and I gave Her my recommendation, and I would stay on the phone with Her, and guide Her in to my place, and I'd meet Her outside.
She arrived a tad faster than I anticipated, and passed my driveway before I could scamper outside.
I was still on the phone with Her, and told Her to turn around and come back.
She did, and pulled into my carport, and told me to get some shoes one, She wanted to go get something to eat.
She came inside with me, as I did, then we went back to Her car, and I navigated us to a local diner.
As the protocol She had outlined required, I first inquired if I may pick up the check for the meal, then I inquired what She would be having, so I could order for both of us.
In time, we were eating, and She related to me, conversations She had been having the previous day, that had to do with the revelations the two of us had made to each other, Sunday night, Monday morning.
Well, She told me without telling me anything, as She spoke in the most general of terms.
It has not yet been my wont to inquire deeper into such conversations She has with me, having learning that She will divulge information when She is ready to divulge it, and there simply was no point in me asking.
And we sat there a bit longer than we needed to. Come to find out, She was waiting for me to ask, "Ready to go?" while I was doing exactly the same thing.
We returned to my place, and went up to my play room.
She stripped down to Her panties, and lay Herself down on the bed, on Her right side.
Leaving me standing there, fully dressed and mystified.
I am accustomed to being told to undress or not, to do this, or do that, so this was beyond my ken.
I stripped, naked, and lay myself down next to her, my front to Her back.
I am now going to leave out most details of what happened thereafter.
I will say, that it took some time for me to figure out, even as She said so, that this was not intended to be our ....what had been up to this point... customary D/s scene.
I kinda wish She had given me a clue from the beginning, about that.
Well, She did, but I didn't pick up on it.
As She undressed, She said, something like, "No collar for this."
I kinda assumed that She had forgot to bring the collar, as She had forgotten to do, Her last visit to my place.
But what She meant was, "This is not a scene for a collar to be used."
Ah well.
Eventually, things got sorted out.
Other than, She wanted ME to take charge of the scene.
Not one of my strong suits, that.
We had fun, and pleasure, and stuff like that, there.
THAT I struggled with Performance Anxiety Impotence does not bother me now, as I write this, as much as it did then. And when I say 'struggled', I'll add, struggled and lost the battle with...
And not just Performance Anxiety....
I knew, because She told me, from day one, or day zero, or before, that she is polyamorous, and I accepted it from the beginning.
I knew, know, that it doesn't work for me, I've always been monogamous.
So, when it came down to it, time to ... rise to the occasion, images and sounds and words flooded my head, of Her being with ... others in her life.
Which put an end to THAT aspect of the scene, but we had a lot of other fun and pleasure.
Some D/s came into play, as She took down my red studded plastic paddle of the wall, with the intention of creating a band of waffle marks to encircle each of my thighs.
But one stroke of the paddle landed square on my scrotum, which sent me into contortions of pain, and leaving Her a bit confused, as She did not realize what happened.
Until She asked, "What's wrong?" and I said through gritted teeth, "YOU HIT MY NUTS..."
And She spent some minutes, alternating between apologies and laughter.
Did I mention She likes to bite? Did I mention, I like to be bitten:?
There was a lot of THAT, and the picture provided shows the effect of numerous bites on the same place on my chest, as She continues in attempts to mark me.
We alternated between play and napping, and all good things tend to come to an end (bad things do too for that matter, but this was a good thing) and somebody's alarm went off, indicating it was time for Her to get up, get moving, get to other places.
And She did, and around 3 pm, I went with Her down to the carport, and sadly watched Her drive away.
I went upstairs to gather sheets and towels that needed washing, and had an armload when She called.
My phone is always with me, so I was able to answer it, but I was still trying to walk with an armload, and talk on the phone, when She said, 'The freeway is jammed!"
"What do you want me to do about it?" I mighta been a tad curt.
"Never mind," She said quietly, "I'll talk to you later."
I got the sheets to the washing machine, and was back upstairs, sitting on my bed, when She sent me a text: "Ouch."
I may be slow, but I'm also dense. But I figured it out, and called Her, and apologized profusely.
We were 'good' by the time She was exiting the freeway, and I had enough time to take a shower, and get a 2.5 hour nap before going to class, then work.
I got up at 18:30, dressed and was about to head downstairs to my car, when I realized I needed to print an assignment I had written for class.
Another adventure.... trying to get my printer to cooperate when I'm in a hurry.
So, I just slowed down, sent a text to the class teacher "On my way" and eventually, the printer did what it was supposed to, and I went on, out the door, arriving at class at 19:15.
I walked in, to see the teacher, who is also Community Minister at my church, sitting alone.
She smiled, "So, Billy sent me a text at 5 pm, saying he had a job, and couldn't make it, but I didn't see it until a little while ago. and Mary called at 6:30, just saying that she couldn't make it. You said that you were on the way in, so I didn't call you back."
So....
We talked about dates we could reschedule the class for, and talked a long time about other things, then I went out to my car, and sent a text to Mistress, saying, "I'm available to talk."
She called me, and I sat in my car, talking to Her for over an hour.
We concluded, everything is good between us, REALLY REALLY GOOD.
And I put it in gear, and drove on into work.
She sent me a text around 23:30 "Sooo sleepy" and I wrote back, "Alone, not busy, call me to say goodnight, if you like."
She did. I said goodnight to Her.
It was a stressful day, full of unknowns, and anxieties and some disappointment.
As a result,
CIGARETTE COUNT : 15
July 1, slave's diary (C = 9 )
.... Then, we moved into the den, and sat on the couch, talking, with Her leaning against me, my left arm over her shoulders, which frequently annoyed Her sunburned back.
And ...we talked.
And revelations were, well, revealed.
How much She enjoyed, was aroused by the time we had spent sleeping together, just sleeping, my front to her back.
And I told her how much that aroused me, that I really wanted to.... be able to ... make love to her ...in a real man to woman way.
Considering that I've spent a dozen years NOT thinking about sex in that way... this was quite an admission for me.
...along with, how much I care about Her, care for Her, how much I just ... love Her.
What She has done to me... the feelings that have emerged in our month together... has been very nearly overwhelming... and She admitted, she felt very nearly the same way.... in her feelings.
Whether or not 'sex' was going to happen between us? That is a very strong line She tries to keep between Herself and Her subs.
Does it matter, to me? Yes, I have the desire. But still... just to have the time with Her... that's all I want, all I need, for now.
Yet, during the course of this late night, early morning conversation, if someone did not do something to stop it, we might end up naked, rolling on the couch.
Some rationality came to us at the same time, and at 04:30 I got up to leave.
Made it home, with a song in my heart, at 05:30. I walked the dog, fed the cats, dealt with other things for the morning. I knew I'd be starting on my new overnight/graveyard schedule tonight, so figured this would be a good time to adjust, by staying up til 9 or so, then sleeping til 17:00.
Early, She had given me a free hour of masturbation and cumming, in addition to the allotment I already had for the week, and I decided to use it, starting around 08:15, which is within a minute of when She called.
And we talked and we talked.... and as it turned it, She was doing to Herself on her end, what I was doing to myself.
I could hear Her gasps, and I could tell that She had succeeded where I had as yet failed.
She gave me permission, to continue past the original hour She had given... and it actually took until 10:00 for me to ...finish.
Then, I had a quick snack, took my morning pills, and went to sleep.
I was awake at 17:00, meditated, walked the dog, and was on the phone with her from 17:30 til 18:45 when I had to get into the shower.
Then dressed, in car, and at work at 19:30
By 21:00, we were chatting via text, then online.... up to 02:00, when she decided maybe she could get to sleep.
9 cigarettes.
And ...we talked.
And revelations were, well, revealed.
How much She enjoyed, was aroused by the time we had spent sleeping together, just sleeping, my front to her back.
And I told her how much that aroused me, that I really wanted to.... be able to ... make love to her ...in a real man to woman way.
Considering that I've spent a dozen years NOT thinking about sex in that way... this was quite an admission for me.
...along with, how much I care about Her, care for Her, how much I just ... love Her.
What She has done to me... the feelings that have emerged in our month together... has been very nearly overwhelming... and She admitted, she felt very nearly the same way.... in her feelings.
Whether or not 'sex' was going to happen between us? That is a very strong line She tries to keep between Herself and Her subs.
Does it matter, to me? Yes, I have the desire. But still... just to have the time with Her... that's all I want, all I need, for now.
Yet, during the course of this late night, early morning conversation, if someone did not do something to stop it, we might end up naked, rolling on the couch.
Some rationality came to us at the same time, and at 04:30 I got up to leave.
Made it home, with a song in my heart, at 05:30. I walked the dog, fed the cats, dealt with other things for the morning. I knew I'd be starting on my new overnight/graveyard schedule tonight, so figured this would be a good time to adjust, by staying up til 9 or so, then sleeping til 17:00.
Early, She had given me a free hour of masturbation and cumming, in addition to the allotment I already had for the week, and I decided to use it, starting around 08:15, which is within a minute of when She called.
And we talked and we talked.... and as it turned it, She was doing to Herself on her end, what I was doing to myself.
I could hear Her gasps, and I could tell that She had succeeded where I had as yet failed.
She gave me permission, to continue past the original hour She had given... and it actually took until 10:00 for me to ...finish.
Then, I had a quick snack, took my morning pills, and went to sleep.
I was awake at 17:00, meditated, walked the dog, and was on the phone with her from 17:30 til 18:45 when I had to get into the shower.
Then dressed, in car, and at work at 19:30
By 21:00, we were chatting via text, then online.... up to 02:00, when she decided maybe she could get to sleep.
9 cigarettes.
June 30, Slave's Diary (C = 8)
I am writing this quite some time after the fact ..some 27 hours.... so details are hazy, but let's see what I remember:
I worked Saturday night... went home, etc, got to sleep 02:50 and was up at 8, getting ready for sevice.
I attended service, then an after service seminar, from 12 to 14:30.
I went across the street for coffee, and to acquire another e-cigarette, and to call my parents, to say hello and goodby, as they were leaving early the next morning for a long car journey, then I made my way, on the 45 mile drive to Her house.
I arrived, as She was in the midst of preparations for Sunday dinner.
I watched, and after my continuous bugging Her, She allowed me to assist by chopping and dicing onions.
Afterwards, She shooed me off to the garage, to see if I could apply my technological training to putting together some items that had fallen apart, which I managed to some degree of success.
Then I spent some time, sitting in the outside porch, chatting with another household member.
Dinner was served, and five of us sat around the table.
It was as quiet dinner, until She said, "Does anybody know the Madison?"
The RHPS reference was enough to get me laughing.
After dinner, She assigned others to clean up duties.
Then, She took me out into the garage, bringing along a plastic bath brush, acquired at a 99c store.
She sat on a long bench, and bade me lay down over her lap, and pulled down my pants, and began smacking my upper buttocks with the brush, until some part of it broke off. Then She had me stand up, and bend over, and smacked my buttocks some more, until another piece broke off.
She seemed satisfied and pictures of the results can be found elsewhere on this blog.
She had me wait, while she went to see if another member of the household would be interested in seeing the results, and in due time, she came back with that member, who was interested.
So I displayed, and while I did so, She knelt, and bit me, hard, on each cheek, and I flashed a huge smile of intense pleasure, while this other person looked on, grinning.
Then we went into the patio, and sat down ..and talked... and talked ...and talked... \
Past midnight.... so, continued, next day....
One new rule that came out of these discussions ....
She wants to help me reduce, ultimately quit smoking.
I've been keeping a daily track for years, on how many a day I smoke
She asked for my previous weeks' numbers...which worked out to just over 18 a day.
She said, for the coming week, limit myself to 15.
So, at the end of each days blogs, I will note the number for that day
Cigarettes = 8
I worked Saturday night... went home, etc, got to sleep 02:50 and was up at 8, getting ready for sevice.
I attended service, then an after service seminar, from 12 to 14:30.
I went across the street for coffee, and to acquire another e-cigarette, and to call my parents, to say hello and goodby, as they were leaving early the next morning for a long car journey, then I made my way, on the 45 mile drive to Her house.
I arrived, as She was in the midst of preparations for Sunday dinner.
I watched, and after my continuous bugging Her, She allowed me to assist by chopping and dicing onions.
Afterwards, She shooed me off to the garage, to see if I could apply my technological training to putting together some items that had fallen apart, which I managed to some degree of success.
Then I spent some time, sitting in the outside porch, chatting with another household member.
Dinner was served, and five of us sat around the table.
It was as quiet dinner, until She said, "Does anybody know the Madison?"
The RHPS reference was enough to get me laughing.
After dinner, She assigned others to clean up duties.
Then, She took me out into the garage, bringing along a plastic bath brush, acquired at a 99c store.
She sat on a long bench, and bade me lay down over her lap, and pulled down my pants, and began smacking my upper buttocks with the brush, until some part of it broke off. Then She had me stand up, and bend over, and smacked my buttocks some more, until another piece broke off.
She seemed satisfied and pictures of the results can be found elsewhere on this blog.
She had me wait, while she went to see if another member of the household would be interested in seeing the results, and in due time, she came back with that member, who was interested.
So I displayed, and while I did so, She knelt, and bit me, hard, on each cheek, and I flashed a huge smile of intense pleasure, while this other person looked on, grinning.
Then we went into the patio, and sat down ..and talked... and talked ...and talked... \
Past midnight.... so, continued, next day....
One new rule that came out of these discussions ....
She wants to help me reduce, ultimately quit smoking.
I've been keeping a daily track for years, on how many a day I smoke
She asked for my previous weeks' numbers...which worked out to just over 18 a day.
She said, for the coming week, limit myself to 15.
So, at the end of each days blogs, I will note the number for that day
Cigarettes = 8
Saturday, June 29, 2013
6/29 Slave's Diary
The night before: left work shortly after midnight, arrived home, notified Mistress by text I was home, and proceeded to walk and feed my dog.
Then I went outside to the street,and met Her on arrival.
We proceeded upstairs, to the first floor of my townhouse,
She started with an inspection of the housecleaning work I had done in the prior week, of which She seemed to approve, then She mentioned a few new things I needed to do.
Then we sat down in front of my laptop, and i went online, and purchased tickets for an upcoming trip.
Then She suggested I strip, which I did, and after inspecting a couple spots on the upper parts of my buttocks that have yet to completely heal, She picked up my new tawse, that had just arrived the day before ... a month after I ordered it, and tried it out and my backside and thighs, and seemed quite pleased with the results.
Then She told me, to go get into the shower.
Once I was inside, with the water running, She said, "Start masturbating and don't come out until I say so."
And I did, or tried to. Masturbation on demand has yet to work well for me...but I tried.
After a moment, She opened the shower door... and was totally naked, much to my surprise.
"Are you masturbating?"
"Yes, Mommy."
"Did I say you could?"
"No, Mommy."
She stepped into the shower with me, holding a bathbrush, and turned me around and began smacking my bottom with it.
Then She stepped back out. "If you can cum by the time I count to sixty, I'll give you a special surprise."
Well, I tried, but hell, I couldn't even achieve a decent erection in that time.
She told me to get out and dry off, and we went into the bedroom, and I got face down on the bed, and she smacked my bottom a bit with a red plastic paddle, then had me turn over, and She marked my thighs.
(the picture above is of my thighs, some hours after)
Then She told me to turn over and keep my eyes closed. She smacked the front parts of my thighs a bit,
then asked me to go fetch a knife, which I did, and then I got back on the bed, until She told me to get up, and I cut see her cutting up bits of ginger root.
She handed me, two slivers, and She got on the bed, on her back, and opened her legs, and told me where to place the bits.
With just one bit in place, She immediately began writhing and moaning, and within five minutes, had a climax.
Smiling, She got up, told me to get down on the bed, and she cut up more ginger, and inserted a skinny bit into the urethra of my penis, and a big plug shaped piece into my anus.
And I felt the wonderful, marvelous BURN.
Oh god... and She helped the process along by holding the root in place, and even pushing it in and out.
Just fucking marvelous...
And She stopped...
And after some conversation, we went to sleep.
I woke up, some hours later, to go downstairs, and feed my cats and walk my dog, and then went back upstairs.
She suggested undress again, and had me go over Her lap, and applied the backside of a hairbrush to my bottom for a bit.... ohgod.... luv it.
Then, sadly, it was time for her to go, and she dressed, as I did, and I went downstairs with her, to see her off. While leaving, she said, "New rule.... during the seven days, you may cum four times, instead of three."
Then my dog decided she was ready for another walk.
Well, why not, it was only like 90degrees out today.
With time to use before getting ready for work, I was naked, on my bed, hoping to do some stroking... as I was SO mentally turned on by the night and morning activities, even if I wasn't showing it, and it wasn't a day that I could cum anyway, as I had already used my allotment for the week... new week starts Sunday...
And She called me twice on the phone, while I was doing so... almost like She knew what I was doing (well, I told her, anyway).
Once I was physically aroused, it was time to take a (cold) shower, and get ready for work.
At work, five minutes early!!
While at work, She sent me a text: "Are yuo ready for more restrictive guidelines?"
Oh boy.... "Yes."
"Be prepared."
"Like a boy scout."
Great way to start a work shift, thinking about ...that.
Five hours later I sent her a text: "I'm stressed out from that teaser."
"Teaser, did I forget something?"
"Restrictive guidelines...?"
"Oh shit, I forgot, can you come over tomorrow?"
...sigh... Now I won't get any sleep thinking about it, either.
"Yes, after church..."
And thus ends my story for today.
Friday, June 28, 2013
June 28 Slave's Diary
Got off work Thursday night at 0100.
Mistress told me She was going to sleep around midnight, so I didn't call Her after work, like I usually do.
And I felt very lonely, very depressed about it.
I can't believe how dependent I've become on Her, how attached I've become, how much I just wanted to hear Her voice.
I slept fitfully, and was awake before my alarm.
My usual instructions have been to call Her when I get up, but she did not relay those to me the previous night, either.
So, I got up, went about my usual business, and once done, I sent Her a text.
She replied, "I Hope you slept well."
"Not really..."
"Why.."
"..Complicated."
"Can I help?"
"It just..stupid of me.."
"Please explain.."
"Not able to..."
"Not able to discuss, or do something, or not willing to open up..."
"Can't find words, and pre panic attack symptoms."
True. My chest was tightening up, my breathing was labored....
"Okay I accept that, please understand I will ask again...It is my duty to be there for you."
"K"
"I love you and care about your well-being."
"I know..."
"Yes, I know you know, but it never hurts to be reminded."
"PA."
"PA... Prince Albert?"
"Panic..."
"Gotcha...do you need to cancel tonight?"
...Oh God no....
"I'm trying to get through NOW"
"May I call you?"
"What took you so long?"
And She called.
I was feeling depressed, lonely, a little stressed due to what I knew would be challenges at work,
As we talked, I calmed down.
She told me, I should call ANYtime I wanted or needed to.
And a bunch of other things.
And we hung up, and I made a few minor preparations for her visit to my place, tonight, then I showered, dressed and went to (came to work).
Around 16:30, She sent me a text: "Are you happy?"
"No, stressed." Work was ..being difficult.
""Boo! I will let you get back to work."
Work stuff ... worked out.
Plowed through it, now just waiting for ch ch changes.
It's 22:30, my schedule is to be here til 0100, I'm hoping to leave midnight ish.
We shall see.
Then She'll be at my place... maybe waiting for me, maybe after I get home.
And that will be tomorrow's story.
Mistress told me She was going to sleep around midnight, so I didn't call Her after work, like I usually do.
And I felt very lonely, very depressed about it.
I can't believe how dependent I've become on Her, how attached I've become, how much I just wanted to hear Her voice.
I slept fitfully, and was awake before my alarm.
My usual instructions have been to call Her when I get up, but she did not relay those to me the previous night, either.
So, I got up, went about my usual business, and once done, I sent Her a text.
She replied, "I Hope you slept well."
"Not really..."
"Why.."
"..Complicated."
"Can I help?"
"It just..stupid of me.."
"Please explain.."
"Not able to..."
"Not able to discuss, or do something, or not willing to open up..."
"Can't find words, and pre panic attack symptoms."
True. My chest was tightening up, my breathing was labored....
"Okay I accept that, please understand I will ask again...It is my duty to be there for you."
"K"
"I love you and care about your well-being."
"I know..."
"Yes, I know you know, but it never hurts to be reminded."
"PA."
"PA... Prince Albert?"
"Panic..."
"Gotcha...do you need to cancel tonight?"
...Oh God no....
"I'm trying to get through NOW"
"May I call you?"
"What took you so long?"
And She called.
I was feeling depressed, lonely, a little stressed due to what I knew would be challenges at work,
As we talked, I calmed down.
She told me, I should call ANYtime I wanted or needed to.
And a bunch of other things.
And we hung up, and I made a few minor preparations for her visit to my place, tonight, then I showered, dressed and went to (came to work).
Around 16:30, She sent me a text: "Are you happy?"
"No, stressed." Work was ..being difficult.
""Boo! I will let you get back to work."
Work stuff ... worked out.
Plowed through it, now just waiting for ch ch changes.
It's 22:30, my schedule is to be here til 0100, I'm hoping to leave midnight ish.
We shall see.
Then She'll be at my place... maybe waiting for me, maybe after I get home.
And that will be tomorrow's story.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
June 27 slave's diary
In the wee hours that started this day, I was on the phone with Mistress, while online checking flights and availability.
In time, we figured out what we could manage, based to time and budget factors, and now we are booked.
I will accompany Her on a business trip to Chicago, departing late Aug 9, and returning mid day Aug 12.
So, after a long day, that had started at 0700 on Wednesday, and included moving "about fifteen boxes", She said, when She first told me about it, from one storage unit to another (it was more like, 45 boxes), then going to work... I went to sleep at 04:00.
I usually wake up at some point during my sleep time, but not this time, and woke up to my alarm at 11:00 with full-on morning wood.
I decided to advantage of 'it' and that it was an open day, and stroked it to a lovely climax, within 17 minutes.
I called Mistress, as I was supposed to do, on awakening, and got her voicemail, as she was in an appointment, and went about my morning chores.
She called me back, as I was about to step into the shower, and we chatted briefly.
I showered, and dressed, and came to work. (Still at work, as I type this.)
I'll close with my personal thought for the day:
"Remember Your word to Your servant, for you have given me hope."
In time, we figured out what we could manage, based to time and budget factors, and now we are booked.
I will accompany Her on a business trip to Chicago, departing late Aug 9, and returning mid day Aug 12.
So, after a long day, that had started at 0700 on Wednesday, and included moving "about fifteen boxes", She said, when She first told me about it, from one storage unit to another (it was more like, 45 boxes), then going to work... I went to sleep at 04:00.
I usually wake up at some point during my sleep time, but not this time, and woke up to my alarm at 11:00 with full-on morning wood.
I decided to advantage of 'it' and that it was an open day, and stroked it to a lovely climax, within 17 minutes.
I called Mistress, as I was supposed to do, on awakening, and got her voicemail, as she was in an appointment, and went about my morning chores.
She called me back, as I was about to step into the shower, and we chatted briefly.
I showered, and dressed, and came to work. (Still at work, as I type this.)
I'll close with my personal thought for the day:
"Remember Your word to Your servant, for you have given me hope."
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
June 26 Slave's Diary
I used the gift of an extra hour, at 01:00 this morning, finishing happily at 01:55.
Then I went to sleep, with the alarm set for 07:00.
I actually woke up with rock solid morning wood at 06:25, and managed to ignore until the alarm did go off, and I got up.
I took care of morning business (eye drops for my contacts, morning Nuvigel, morning water elimination, feeding cats and fish, scooping litter box, walking Cookie, walking meditation, then inside, feeding Cookie, changing the animals' water dishes) then upstairs, for a shower, etc.
I was in my vehicle about 09:08, and called Mistress, as requested, as I was heading to Torrance to assist Her with moving boxes from one unit to another, and we were looking to meet there around 10:30.
"Do you think it will take that long to get to Torrance?"
"Tail end of rush hour," I said. "If I get there really quickly, I'll be waiting."
The 101 north was not bad at all, but the interchange into the 405-south took, simply, forever.
Then the usually cluster-fudge on the 405 south, which cleared up soon enough..... and I arrived at the meeting place at 10:28.
Meanwhile, She texted me to let me know, the 405 North was fouled up, and she was tied up in traffic.
It gave me time, to rearrange stuff in the back of my mini-van.
She arrived, and we drove into the grounds of the storage unit complex.
And we set about moving boxes and other stuff from one small unit into a much larger unit, a few driveways down the lot.
Mission accomplished, along with a Eureka! as She managed to find the box containing dinner dishes that She was really looking for.
Then, with a bit of a grin, She told me to fetch the bath brush (that somehow, She knew I brought along, sort of just in case), and in the privacy of the now-empty storage unit, gave my tights-covered bottom a number of whacks with it. (We're still arguing about the exact number.... let's go with twenty...)
She stopped, fearful of discovery (and then,possibly, being banned from the premises) (in spite of the fact that, I had only seen one other vehicle on the premises, the whole time we were there.)
Then, we drove in two cars to a nearby fast-food place, for (coffee for me)(soda for Her), and conversation.
After becoming agitated by the racket of unsupervised children inside the place, we moved outside, near our vehicles.
Conversation continued, and I took a few pictures of us, on my camera phone.... for my mother, who had been making inquiries about my new girl friend. (Well, that's what I told my mother, She is.)
Then She said, "It's almost 2 o'clock, you gotta get going."
Oh hell, I was supposed to be at work at 2:30.
"Okay, thank you."
Off I went.
In search of a gas station, as I saw the low fuel indicator light blinking.
One wrong turn later, I found my preferred brand of gas, fueled up, and started on the 16 or 17 mile ride on surface streets, to work.
It did not help, that the three lane road I was on, became two lanes, and then one, for awhile.
I sent a text to my manager, at 2 pm, "Leaving XYZ now, be there when I can, depending on traffic."
His reply: "Awww... weekend at Bernie's?"
My reply: Ummmmmmm...
I arrived at work at 15:16, a mere 45 minutes late.
She texted me: "Sorry I made you late."
I passed that on to my manager, with an explanation of the days' events, and he smiled and said, "Pussy whipped already?"
I smiled and shrugged.
I related that exchange to Her, and She said, "Pussy whipped? LOL! if he only knew."
I do not plan to have THAT conversation with him, any time soon.
So, at work... as tired as .... well, someone who is really really tired... with a slightly sore bottom... very minor, but enough to remind me... and just very very content, even happy.
But not all happy.
She advised me, She's at home with a very upset stomach, and has doctor's orders against taking anything for it. and there's nothing I can do for Her, except offer my sympathies, and extend a prayer.
.............sigh.................
Then I went to sleep, with the alarm set for 07:00.
I actually woke up with rock solid morning wood at 06:25, and managed to ignore until the alarm did go off, and I got up.
I took care of morning business (eye drops for my contacts, morning Nuvigel, morning water elimination, feeding cats and fish, scooping litter box, walking Cookie, walking meditation, then inside, feeding Cookie, changing the animals' water dishes) then upstairs, for a shower, etc.
I was in my vehicle about 09:08, and called Mistress, as requested, as I was heading to Torrance to assist Her with moving boxes from one unit to another, and we were looking to meet there around 10:30.
"Do you think it will take that long to get to Torrance?"
"Tail end of rush hour," I said. "If I get there really quickly, I'll be waiting."
The 101 north was not bad at all, but the interchange into the 405-south took, simply, forever.
Then the usually cluster-fudge on the 405 south, which cleared up soon enough..... and I arrived at the meeting place at 10:28.
Meanwhile, She texted me to let me know, the 405 North was fouled up, and she was tied up in traffic.
It gave me time, to rearrange stuff in the back of my mini-van.
She arrived, and we drove into the grounds of the storage unit complex.
And we set about moving boxes and other stuff from one small unit into a much larger unit, a few driveways down the lot.
Mission accomplished, along with a Eureka! as She managed to find the box containing dinner dishes that She was really looking for.
Then, with a bit of a grin, She told me to fetch the bath brush (that somehow, She knew I brought along, sort of just in case), and in the privacy of the now-empty storage unit, gave my tights-covered bottom a number of whacks with it. (We're still arguing about the exact number.... let's go with twenty...)
She stopped, fearful of discovery (and then,possibly, being banned from the premises) (in spite of the fact that, I had only seen one other vehicle on the premises, the whole time we were there.)
Then, we drove in two cars to a nearby fast-food place, for (coffee for me)(soda for Her), and conversation.
After becoming agitated by the racket of unsupervised children inside the place, we moved outside, near our vehicles.
Conversation continued, and I took a few pictures of us, on my camera phone.... for my mother, who had been making inquiries about my new girl friend. (Well, that's what I told my mother, She is.)
Then She said, "It's almost 2 o'clock, you gotta get going."
Oh hell, I was supposed to be at work at 2:30.
"Okay, thank you."
Off I went.
In search of a gas station, as I saw the low fuel indicator light blinking.
One wrong turn later, I found my preferred brand of gas, fueled up, and started on the 16 or 17 mile ride on surface streets, to work.
It did not help, that the three lane road I was on, became two lanes, and then one, for awhile.
I sent a text to my manager, at 2 pm, "Leaving XYZ now, be there when I can, depending on traffic."
His reply: "Awww... weekend at Bernie's?"
My reply: Ummmmmmm...
I arrived at work at 15:16, a mere 45 minutes late.
She texted me: "Sorry I made you late."
I passed that on to my manager, with an explanation of the days' events, and he smiled and said, "Pussy whipped already?"
I smiled and shrugged.
I related that exchange to Her, and She said, "Pussy whipped? LOL! if he only knew."
I do not plan to have THAT conversation with him, any time soon.
So, at work... as tired as .... well, someone who is really really tired... with a slightly sore bottom... very minor, but enough to remind me... and just very very content, even happy.
But not all happy.
She advised me, She's at home with a very upset stomach, and has doctor's orders against taking anything for it. and there's nothing I can do for Her, except offer my sympathies, and extend a prayer.
.............sigh.................
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
June 25 A slave's diary
Under the guidelines given me, today is a day that I could masturbate to orgasm, with twenty minutes to do so.
At 01:50 this morning, I started in, cold.... that is, with no prior arousal that might have come from looking at porn, or any of a number of ways I used to get myself aroused.
With a rather odd fantasy, that I've already told Her about, and won't detail here, going through my head, I was able to cum, at 02:11.
I got some sleep, and spoke to Her on the phone, telling Her of my fantasy, and that it took 21 minutes.
She said, "Then, tomorrow, you only get fifteen minutes."
Which I did not consider harsh at all. Wednesday is going to be a very busy day, and there would be no time for it, not even fifteen minutes.
I got up, to doing the various tasks assigned me.
The first was vacuuming my living room floor.
For what I would call a 'normal' person, in a 'normal' house, where vacuuming is done weekly, more or less, this would not be a big deal.
However, the last time I vacuumed was.... hmmm... don't honestly remember, so, um, it was a .... chore.
I spent most of the time on my hands and knees with the hand-vac attachment, getting up against the walls, in the corners, moving many things out of the way. After a good 90 minutes of that, I stood up, and used the upright to give the floor the finishing touch.
Then I got out my wet-spot-vacuumer, and spot cleaned various places on the carpet.
(Let's say, my 12 year old chihuahua still doesn't have total control of her bladder, and leave it at that.)
Then, I went upstairs, into the bathroom.
I cleaned the 6 1/2' by 3' mirror, then I wiped down the 6 1/2' x 2' double-sink counter, and cleaned the sinks.
Then I scrubbed the toilet.
Then I swept, and disinfected, and mopped the floor.
I gathered up a couple bags worth of newspapers and trash to take downstairs, and out to the dumpster.
And I pounded down some carpet nails, that were sticking up through some frayed carpeting, that were found to be quite annoying to barefoot folks walking on them.
During the downstairs cleaning, I came across two items that I had forgotten about:
1. A hearing amplifier. Not a medical hearing aid, but an "as seen on TV" hearing amplifier, that I used to use for watching TV, when I had a roommate, and she complained that she could hear the tv better from upstairs, than I could, when sitting in front of it downstairs. So I acquired this, to watch tv at a lower volume.
Those that have around me recently, are aware of the challenge of getting me to hear whatever they have to say, which seems to depend on background noise, the volume of their speaking, etc.
So, I shall try wearing this thing, while in certain company, and see how it goes.
2. My Viagra. Not 'mine', in that I never had a prescription for it, but my father's, which Mother sent to me, when my ex-girl friend was complaining that I .... oh never mind.
At any rate, some 40 pills.... I'll wait to hear Mistress's wishes regarding the disposition of it.
I notified Mistress by text, that I had finished all the requested tasks.
She replied:
"I'm proud of you!. You may masturbate for one hour and cum, if you wish. AND, you may make a request of me, if you desire. Give me a list of five and I will choose one for you."
Wow! What a loving, generous Mistress!
I have yet to use the masturbation gift, as I had homework to do for a class tonight.
I'm still thinking about the list, to send her.
In other news, I wrote, long ago, about blackstrapmaster, who disappointed me deeply, in his failure to show up to Moonburn, on May 4. He notified me via message through spankthishookups that he wasn't coming. He could have sent me a personal email, or text, or even made a phone call, but messaged me THAT way, which I might not have seen.... and didn't give a reason.
I was disappointed, then angry, for the longest time.
Through a forgiveness workshop at my church, I learned how to forgive him, how to let go of my expectations of him, and just let it go, and let him be him, and love him for who he is, not who I expect him to be.
And I wrote an email to him, a few days ago, saying I forgive him, etc.
He replied today, "Okay, let's talk at Moonburn" ...which would be, July 6.
Then he sent another email, "Better would be, call me now, let's talk."
I did.
We talked.
All is good between us, and maybe ... I'm not setting any expectations this time... maybe... I'll see him at Moonburn.
At 01:50 this morning, I started in, cold.... that is, with no prior arousal that might have come from looking at porn, or any of a number of ways I used to get myself aroused.
With a rather odd fantasy, that I've already told Her about, and won't detail here, going through my head, I was able to cum, at 02:11.
I got some sleep, and spoke to Her on the phone, telling Her of my fantasy, and that it took 21 minutes.
She said, "Then, tomorrow, you only get fifteen minutes."
Which I did not consider harsh at all. Wednesday is going to be a very busy day, and there would be no time for it, not even fifteen minutes.
I got up, to doing the various tasks assigned me.
The first was vacuuming my living room floor.
For what I would call a 'normal' person, in a 'normal' house, where vacuuming is done weekly, more or less, this would not be a big deal.
However, the last time I vacuumed was.... hmmm... don't honestly remember, so, um, it was a .... chore.
I spent most of the time on my hands and knees with the hand-vac attachment, getting up against the walls, in the corners, moving many things out of the way. After a good 90 minutes of that, I stood up, and used the upright to give the floor the finishing touch.
Then I got out my wet-spot-vacuumer, and spot cleaned various places on the carpet.
(Let's say, my 12 year old chihuahua still doesn't have total control of her bladder, and leave it at that.)
Then, I went upstairs, into the bathroom.
I cleaned the 6 1/2' by 3' mirror, then I wiped down the 6 1/2' x 2' double-sink counter, and cleaned the sinks.
Then I scrubbed the toilet.
Then I swept, and disinfected, and mopped the floor.
I gathered up a couple bags worth of newspapers and trash to take downstairs, and out to the dumpster.
And I pounded down some carpet nails, that were sticking up through some frayed carpeting, that were found to be quite annoying to barefoot folks walking on them.
During the downstairs cleaning, I came across two items that I had forgotten about:
1. A hearing amplifier. Not a medical hearing aid, but an "as seen on TV" hearing amplifier, that I used to use for watching TV, when I had a roommate, and she complained that she could hear the tv better from upstairs, than I could, when sitting in front of it downstairs. So I acquired this, to watch tv at a lower volume.
Those that have around me recently, are aware of the challenge of getting me to hear whatever they have to say, which seems to depend on background noise, the volume of their speaking, etc.
So, I shall try wearing this thing, while in certain company, and see how it goes.
2. My Viagra. Not 'mine', in that I never had a prescription for it, but my father's, which Mother sent to me, when my ex-girl friend was complaining that I .... oh never mind.
At any rate, some 40 pills.... I'll wait to hear Mistress's wishes regarding the disposition of it.
I notified Mistress by text, that I had finished all the requested tasks.
She replied:
"I'm proud of you!. You may masturbate for one hour and cum, if you wish. AND, you may make a request of me, if you desire. Give me a list of five and I will choose one for you."
Wow! What a loving, generous Mistress!
I have yet to use the masturbation gift, as I had homework to do for a class tonight.
I'm still thinking about the list, to send her.
In other news, I wrote, long ago, about blackstrapmaster, who disappointed me deeply, in his failure to show up to Moonburn, on May 4. He notified me via message through spankthishookups that he wasn't coming. He could have sent me a personal email, or text, or even made a phone call, but messaged me THAT way, which I might not have seen.... and didn't give a reason.
I was disappointed, then angry, for the longest time.
Through a forgiveness workshop at my church, I learned how to forgive him, how to let go of my expectations of him, and just let it go, and let him be him, and love him for who he is, not who I expect him to be.
And I wrote an email to him, a few days ago, saying I forgive him, etc.
He replied today, "Okay, let's talk at Moonburn" ...which would be, July 6.
Then he sent another email, "Better would be, call me now, let's talk."
I did.
We talked.
All is good between us, and maybe ... I'm not setting any expectations this time... maybe... I'll see him at Moonburn.
Monday, June 24, 2013
June 24 A slave's diary
Mistress came over, the other night, and did a walk-through home inspection.
For a description of my home, I give you Sheldon's quote, upon first seeing Penny's apartment:
"The Mandelbrot set of complex numbers is a little messy..... THIS is CHAOS."
She outlined a list of things she wanted me to get done around the apartment.
Nothing onerous, nothing burdensome, simply things that I knew needed to be done, that I've been putting off, like for ever, and I needed a kick in pants to get 'em done.
So, She kicked me in the pants.
Today:
I started with the refrigerator. I threw out perishables that had been in there from since and before my roommate moved out, mid January, and I wiped and cleaned it out, top to bottom, outside then inside.
The I scrubbed down the walls in the kitchen.
Then I wiped down the range top, and all the counters.
Then I swept the floor, numerous times, and got down on hands and knees, and used a knife to scrape up sticky stuff.
And I mopped.
And I mopped again.
And I swept it again.
And I mopped it again.
Once finished, I was, I am, damn proud of it.
And it just took a kick in the pants to get started.
More chores on the agenda for tomorrow: stay tuned.
For a description of my home, I give you Sheldon's quote, upon first seeing Penny's apartment:
"The Mandelbrot set of complex numbers is a little messy..... THIS is CHAOS."
She outlined a list of things she wanted me to get done around the apartment.
Nothing onerous, nothing burdensome, simply things that I knew needed to be done, that I've been putting off, like for ever, and I needed a kick in pants to get 'em done.
So, She kicked me in the pants.
Today:
I started with the refrigerator. I threw out perishables that had been in there from since and before my roommate moved out, mid January, and I wiped and cleaned it out, top to bottom, outside then inside.
The I scrubbed down the walls in the kitchen.
Then I wiped down the range top, and all the counters.
Then I swept the floor, numerous times, and got down on hands and knees, and used a knife to scrape up sticky stuff.
And I mopped.
And I mopped again.
And I swept it again.
And I mopped it again.
Once finished, I was, I am, damn proud of it.
And it just took a kick in the pants to get started.
More chores on the agenda for tomorrow: stay tuned.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Diary June 23
As of the wee hours of June 23, it is official.
We signed, and now I am bound, by a very restrictive contract, as a slave, to a Mistress.
She is an adorable woman, and I love Her dearly.
We met at a dungeon party, and continued to see each other, and exchanged greetings, at later parties.
I posted a story on another site, expressing my disappointment and anger, caused by play partners I had been with, who let me down. I was having problems with continuity in my life: I had nobody I could count on.
She read it and messaged me, offering to be a steady play partner, if I so desired.
I did so desire.
We got together at another dungeon party, and had a very good time. She said She did; I know I did.
We exchanged frequent messages and texts, and ... She offered me a contract, a fairly unrestrictive D/s contract, in the wee hours, two weeks later, we signed it.
As a few days passed, I realized my issue with the contract was... the very simple escape clause, that either party could cancel it at anytime, just by saying so.
THAT left me, still, with an insecure feeling, thinking that, at any time, She could call me up and say, "I don't think this is working out, I wish you the best of luck in the future...."
I spent one afternoon with Her, in a very vanilla setting, which left me quite happy, which always seems to result in a downslide, and in this case a near meltdown, as I couldn't stop worrying, "What's going to go wrong?"
This resulted in what I would call our only disagreement or somesuch, thus far.
In the course of our exchanging texts, She sent one to me that said "You are being unreasonable, and trying to fuck up on purpose."
My feelings were hurt, and my feelings DON'T get hurt, unless whatever it is, comes from someone I care about.
When my feelings get hurt, I go incommunicado. I don't answer the phone, answer texts, or emails. I'm all about 'leave me the eff alone."
And I can be that way for days, weeks... just depends on how long I choose to hold on to it.
I woke up to find several voicemails from Her, and a wall message, offering to delete 'that' line, the one saying that either party can cancel at anytime.
After morning meditation, which brought me to the realization that I WAS fucking up... just not 'on purpose', I called her.
We talked it out.
She explained that, if She deleted that line, the contract becomes permanent (except for certain clauses pertaining to breach of contract) and it would progress from Dominant/submissive to Mistress/slave, and would require a number of other additions to the document.
I told Her, I would be quite interested in reading such a document.
Within a couple days, She forwarded me the revised contract, and I asked a few questions for clarification, then minor changes were made, and soon had a contract that I approved of.
We signed it, as noted above, in the wee hours of June 23.
There is no option for me quitting, just because I want to. There is no option for Her quitting, just because She's tired of me ...or wants to.
The only way out is by breach of contract, by violation of certain paragraphs within the contract, by the other party.
The essence of the contract is that I am to obey Her in all respects, My mind, body, heart, and time belong to Her.
I exist for Her pleasure,
She is my Protector.
We do not live together, nor is this a long-distance relationship.
We're far enough apart that daily meetings are unmanageable, but close enough that twice a week will be expected, and three times a week, possible.
For the first time in years....decades.... I don't feel like I'm wandering from thing or person to the next, aimlessly looking for... I don't know what exactly.
Now... thanks to Mistress, I feel WANTED. I feel CARED FOR. I feel LOVED.
Dare I say it?
Yes, I dare.
I feel HAPPY
Thank You so much, Mistress.
We signed, and now I am bound, by a very restrictive contract, as a slave, to a Mistress.
She is an adorable woman, and I love Her dearly.
We met at a dungeon party, and continued to see each other, and exchanged greetings, at later parties.
I posted a story on another site, expressing my disappointment and anger, caused by play partners I had been with, who let me down. I was having problems with continuity in my life: I had nobody I could count on.
She read it and messaged me, offering to be a steady play partner, if I so desired.
I did so desire.
We got together at another dungeon party, and had a very good time. She said She did; I know I did.
We exchanged frequent messages and texts, and ... She offered me a contract, a fairly unrestrictive D/s contract, in the wee hours, two weeks later, we signed it.
As a few days passed, I realized my issue with the contract was... the very simple escape clause, that either party could cancel it at anytime, just by saying so.
THAT left me, still, with an insecure feeling, thinking that, at any time, She could call me up and say, "I don't think this is working out, I wish you the best of luck in the future...."
I spent one afternoon with Her, in a very vanilla setting, which left me quite happy, which always seems to result in a downslide, and in this case a near meltdown, as I couldn't stop worrying, "What's going to go wrong?"
This resulted in what I would call our only disagreement or somesuch, thus far.
In the course of our exchanging texts, She sent one to me that said "You are being unreasonable, and trying to fuck up on purpose."
My feelings were hurt, and my feelings DON'T get hurt, unless whatever it is, comes from someone I care about.
When my feelings get hurt, I go incommunicado. I don't answer the phone, answer texts, or emails. I'm all about 'leave me the eff alone."
And I can be that way for days, weeks... just depends on how long I choose to hold on to it.
I woke up to find several voicemails from Her, and a wall message, offering to delete 'that' line, the one saying that either party can cancel at anytime.
After morning meditation, which brought me to the realization that I WAS fucking up... just not 'on purpose', I called her.
We talked it out.
She explained that, if She deleted that line, the contract becomes permanent (except for certain clauses pertaining to breach of contract) and it would progress from Dominant/submissive to Mistress/slave, and would require a number of other additions to the document.
I told Her, I would be quite interested in reading such a document.
Within a couple days, She forwarded me the revised contract, and I asked a few questions for clarification, then minor changes were made, and soon had a contract that I approved of.
We signed it, as noted above, in the wee hours of June 23.
There is no option for me quitting, just because I want to. There is no option for Her quitting, just because She's tired of me ...or wants to.
The only way out is by breach of contract, by violation of certain paragraphs within the contract, by the other party.
The essence of the contract is that I am to obey Her in all respects, My mind, body, heart, and time belong to Her.
I exist for Her pleasure,
She is my Protector.
We do not live together, nor is this a long-distance relationship.
We're far enough apart that daily meetings are unmanageable, but close enough that twice a week will be expected, and three times a week, possible.
For the first time in years....decades.... I don't feel like I'm wandering from thing or person to the next, aimlessly looking for... I don't know what exactly.
Now... thanks to Mistress, I feel WANTED. I feel CARED FOR. I feel LOVED.
Dare I say it?
Yes, I dare.
I feel HAPPY
Thank You so much, Mistress.
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